Thankful

I’m thankful for…

Family

This guy

Old Friends

New Friends

Health

Travel

And so much more.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I’m a confident person. So why the jealousy?

Something I’ve recently noticed about myself is the tendency to be jealous or angry at people who seem to be doing something I want to do(exciting jobs, research,travelling etc)–or even something I’m already doing like grad school. The grass is always greener on the other side, but why would I possibly be jealous of someone on the same side?

This is something that I haven’t felt in awhile. In high school, I was unhappy with myself or at best not confident as I should have been. But since starting my undergraduate degree, I’ve felt much more confident–even overly confident–of my personal strengths and qualities, unconcerned with those areas in which I do not excel. So why do I have these flashes of jealousy lately?

This is what I think, and here comes that self-confidence–I’m a pretty self-aware person. I think that starting grad school put me at the bottom again. My everyday interactions in class are mostly with other graduate students who are in their first year or older than me. Other interactions at school are with highly respected professors and advisers. No one is younger or less experienced at social science research than my fellow first years and me. So all those people out there feeling confident and on top of life make me uncomfortable about my sudden lack of confidence.

This is where it turns around. I was told once that no one in social science/humanities grad programs thinks they are worthy of being where they are. We all feel like frauds–even the seemingly most confident. No one knows the ins and outs of their discipline or field (or multiple disciplines in the case of a interdisciplinary program like mine!). No one has published multiple articles or books at this level. We get platefuls of “constructive criticism” daily. We have to put on a brave face and carry on.

I’m currently in a Master’s program with plans to apply to the PhD track. I love academia for all its quirks and flaws, but if I plan on surviving, I have to buck up. This is a long race, but it doesn’t matter if I’m at the back of the pack right now. I just need some endurance!

For Every Excuse a New Strategy

Lately, I’ve noticed my lack of productivity when it comes to school. Sure, I’m making more of an effort than ever to keep my apartment neat and clean. I’m definitely asserting more energy when it comes to cooking and making an effort to eat out less (maybe my boyfriend would say I should try harder to make what he likes? 😉 ) BUT….when it comes to my Master’s program–my main responsibility right now–I’m not 100%. What gives?

There are a few reasons I think it’s been difficult to dive in to work. New city, new friends, new types of classes (more research-focused), and the (fun) distraction of having my boyfriend around all the time (as opposed to 1.5 hrs away as it was last year). But are these really excuses now that it’s almost November? yikes…

So. New Strategies for productivity. I’ve been reading some blogs and doing some thinking about what has worked in the past for me. A few things I’m going to try:

• Excuse 1: I don’t know where to start!
• Strategy: Set one big goal and two small goals each morning or night before. For example, today my goals are: Finish take-home research methodology midterm (big). Write blog post (small). Mail letters (small). This may seem like I’m shooting low, but these are just reminders for me when I have downtime or am not in class so that I end up doing something that is more important to me than watching TV or reading random blogs/wasting time on the internet. When I think I don’t know where to start and become paralyzed by this, I have daily goals.

• Excuse 2:I’m tired and I could be doing housework, lounging, or cooking in my comfortable apartment. 
• Strategy: Go to coffee shops or the library to do schoolwork. This works for me because when I get home, I want to cook, read for fun, watch the news, and sleep. No matter how much I try to set up a “workspace” at home (no room for an office), work just doesn’t get done. Strategy: get out of the house.

• Excuse 3: This research paper/reading/exam/etc is until next week or several weeks from now. 
• Strategy: Self guilt-trip. Remember how terrible I feel about my work when I put it off till the last minute or when I spend all afternoon and evening (on a school night) wasting time watching television shows on Netflix without one productive minute. Maybe some people feel uncomfortable about the guilt trip or advocate more self-forgiveness here, but guilt is motivating and in this case, I deserve to feel bad for being lazy about schoolwork. I’m lucky to be here. Why wouldn’t I show them I’m worth my fellowship?

And a final tip for myself: Remember why I’m here. Graduate school is not mandatory(unless we are talking professional school). For me, this is what I love to study. I love school (truly), and I plan on getting a PhD after my Master’s, so why all the procrastination and complaining?

And now, a fun Halloween picture of our jack o’lantern!

Calm during the storm

This week has been filled with constant steps towards leaving Mississippi behind. I’m not sure how I feel about leaving, but I am looking forward to embracing life in New Orleans. I hesitate to say “as a New Orleanian” because I’m not sure I can be considered a native without living there for a very very long time. It’s just that kind of place.  However, New Orleans isn’t on my mind in this moment as I’m truly absorbed in my thoughts about Mississippi.

For four years, I have considered Mississippi my home base. Though I’ve lived temporarily in Ecuador (9months) and in Washington, D.C. (3 summers in a row) during those four years, I have always returned to Mississippi, ready to begin again and ready to embrace life among some of my favorite Mississippians.

In some ways, Mississippi is just as much of a  home to me as Tennessee. My family lives in Tennessee still, and I spent the first eighteen years of my life there, but I have evolved so much in Mississippi–as (dare I say) an adult.  And it’s been an interesting place to learn about the world. Mississippi gets a bad name for many reasons, and it’s most definitely one of the most extreme places in the Unites States for a variety of reasons. The societal issues have taken on a constructive role in my education both in and out of the classroom. I feel like I can understand other people’s points of view and concerns better simply by living in Mississippi. I also have to point out that anyone who says Mississippi is damned for all its problems is woefully ignorant about its rich cultural aspects and its warm people. That’s something I’m not sure I knew before I came. All this being said, I don’t know if I’ll ever live in Mississippi again. There is a possibility I’m sure that I will have a desire to come back.

Before I get sentimental, I want to talk about a few ways that I’ve been dealing (sometimes not so well) with not having much of a place to stay during the last week. I have to be moved out of my friend’s house (where I’ve lived throughout college) completely by the 28th of this month since she has sold the house. Since last week, I’ve been moving things out each day–leaving me with just a bed for the next few days. So, without further adieu, here are some of my ways to deal with moving and living in an empty house for a week.

1. Buy groceries sparingly. This is perhaps the most frustrating problem. I can’t buy too much food because I only have a few days to consume it unless I want to transport it. Not to mention I am seriously opposed to food that has an expiration date that is years away. Overly processed food with lots of preservatives is bad news folks. However, I’ve been lucky enough to have a lot of free time lately so I can go to the grocery store to pick up just enough food for 1-2 days at a time. I can’t try new foods or buy according to sales much though so I just stick to basics.

2. Stay at other people’s houses. This is more of an escape mechanism than a coping one. I just go stay somewhere else for the night or travel to New Orleans or somewhere else for the weekend. In fact, I’ve been gone every weekend since mid-May. yikes.

3. Focus on upcoming months and ignore the here and now. Again, this is escapism perhaps, but if I focused on here and now, the focus would be on an empty house and an Oxford with not too many people I know around. I think I keep a more positive attitude when I just think about how excited I am about New Orleans and put leaving out of my mind for the most part.

Brief, perhaps useless tips for anyone in the same boat, but these are some things on my mind this week.

Hope you’re having a good one!

Postcards from Cartagena, Colombia

Although I’ve been in the Southeastern United States for most of the last year, I spent most of 2009-2010 travelling in Latin America. I’d like to share some of my photos here, and many of these are also featured on my blog from when I was in Ecuador (http://whereisscarlett.blogspot.com/). Also, I’m sure I’ll have interesting photos from New Orleans soon to share. Here are a couple of my favorites from Cartagena.

 

Centro Historico en Cartagena

Beach scene from Cartagena

Where is my money going?!

Let’s talk dollars.

Recently, I’ve spent a lot of money on a few categories. Some of this has been inevitable, but since I would like to start managing money more effectively (read: like an adult), I want to seriously take a look at where my money is going and how I reduce unnecessary consumption.

Here are some categories that I spend too much money on and some of my ideas about how to reduce expenditures.

Auto

This past year, I have spent more than ever on gas, services, etc than in any of the previous 6 years of driving. Why? I believe this is a combination of having a boyfriend that lives 1.5 hours from me, family health concerns, and an increasing interest in road trips with college friends since it was our senior year.  All these trips were meaningful and while not always completely necessary, they were worth my money I believe. The good news is that after this month, I will be in the same city as my boyfriend and grad school will make road trips more difficult to plan (I’m not sure I really think that fewer road trips is a good thing, but for the sake of this argument…). My goal to reduce my expenditures for gas and auto services is to reduce driving while I live in New Orleans by taking university shuttles and streetcars around the city when possible and walking or biking to school (which is possible due to my apartment’s location). I hope that this means I can reduce fuel consumption to only one tank of gas per month. I can’t make promises here, but this goal seems attainable to me given my circumstances. This would reduce my expenditures on gas per month from about $150 to about $45 given current average gas prices.

Dining out

Who doesn’t spend too much money on dining out? (If you are one of those people who doesn’t, don’t make me feel bad!) I don’t even feel like I eat out that often, but it’s the little things that add up. You know, the little things like Starbucks, a snack bought on campus, or grabbing a quick sandwich with a friend. The $3, $5, and $10 expenditures really do add up it seems. I don’t feel bad about enjoying a nice meal out once in awhile (especially since I do a pretty good job at avoiding this daily), but there is no reason why I need to spend so much on snacks and coffee. Seriously, I can bring granola bars from home to avoid spending $3 on one on campus (it costs like $3 for a box of 5 at the grocery store!) My point is, this must stop. I plan to reduce this needless consumption of snacks and coffee by buying snacks at the grocery store that I can bring to campus and always being prepared by bringing them with me when I go out. The coffee consumption is ridiculous not only for the cost, but also the amount. I have no plans to quit drinking coffee. I love it way too much, and I don’t think coffee is bad for my health in moderate amounts, but I’m pretty sure I don’t need drip coffee in the morning and a latte in the afternoon. I can enjoy coffee in the morning–once.

Miscellaneous

Maybe you think I’m cheating by creating this category, but this is accurate for my spending because sometimes, I get in a habit of buying a lot of random stuff. I’m talking books, clothes, skin products, etc. There are occasions when these things are good to buy, but I buy them when I find a deal or simply on a whim just because I feel like it. To stop this, I plan to reduce the time/energy I spend looking for deals online (which includes cancelling my groupon and living social emails) and finding more productive things to do when I get the urge to go browse shops and boutiques. 

So, those are a few of my goals and plans to reduce unnecessary spending in the near future. I would really like to get my finances in order before I start grad school this fall.

Anyone else have great ideas/plans for saving money? 

(picture from Google Images)

Markisms

My dad, Mark, has always had the best ways of explaining situations and expressing sentiments. His advice is always simple, spot-on, and often humorous. On this Father’s Day, I’d like to share some sage advice and I hope it will convey the reasons why my family never stops laughing and makes better decisions because of him. These are just a few of the many famous sayings.

My dad and I four years ago when I first moved to college.

Markisms:

“Scarlett, sometimes you just have to pick your battles.”—recurring advice, always appreciated.

“We’re just going to do what has to be done. Whatever it is. Without complaint”–upon being told he would have major surgery, and also upon every difficult situation I’ve presented him with.

“There was a drive-by shooting in the next town over last week. I can’t sit around and worry about a trip to South America.”—when my maternal grandmother protested my travelling to  (yet another) South American country last summer.

“Being pretty won’t get you much besides a free coke at the ballpark.”–when my sister was once told that she would get anything she wanted in life because she was beautiful.

“Cows are such stupid animals.”—on recalling all the reasons why I’m not allowed to be a dairy farmer (He has owned a dairy farm for many years).

“You need to go where you want to go and do what you want to do. When else do you get the opportunities that you have right now?”–his advice about my college experience and my life in general.

 

Also, 4 things I will always remember about my dad and be grateful for:

1)My dad’s genuine desire to spend time with me–always.

2)His trust in me to make good decisions and handle things on my own.

3)His humor.

4)The way he treats my mother.

Deadline: August 1

Since I’ll be moving to New Orleans within the next month, I obviously have a to-do list that is overwhelming at times. However, since I get bored easily (doesn’t everyone of  our generation?), I am giving myself a few more to-do’s before my birthday–August 1st. I’ll be turning 23 in about a month and a half and though it’s no milestone age, I like birthdays and I want to recognize it.  Here’s the plan:

1. Girl’s day with my little sister. My sister turned 16 (today!) and I have yet to get her a gift because I decided that instead of getting her something I would like or I’m guessing she would like, I would just go do something with her. Spending time together is very underrated these days and I think it should be rectified. Shopping + pedicures + good food in Nashville? I think this is a great birthday celebration for her and I only hope she will tolerate being with her (woefully less cool) older sister for a day.

2. Apartment decorating. I will admit that I am the world’s worst interior designer, and the worst part is that I don’t even notice. I really want to do something about this in the new apartment and I will enlist whatever artsy friends I have in helping me. Oh yeah–I don’t have much money either, so this will be a thrifty interior design effort. All the more need for creative juices.

3. Learn to be smarter about grocery shopping. This is a hard one. I love grocery shopping and specialty foods (think Whole Foods). Also, I’m kind of a health nut and this sometimes means more expenses as well. But, I am positive that there are some things I can do to cut the spending without compromising my preference for healthy food. I will not eat ramen throughout grad school. That’s all.

4. Read a new Faulkner book. These are not exactly ‘beach reads’, but I love Faulkner. It’s hard to read, but it is worth the mental somersaults to understand (even on a basic level) the themes and ideas in his books. I would also love to reread some of my favorites which include Absalom! Absalom! and The Wild Palms (also published as If I Forget Thee Jerusalem).

5. Run a 5 or 10k?? This is totally dependent upon where I’ll be in July. As of now, I have plans to visit family in Tennessee at some point, stay in Mississippi with friends part of the time, and move to New Orleans near the end of the month. Dates are not set yet so I can’t plan this very well. But I would LOVE to have a reason to stay motivated to run this summer.  I know there are a lot of July 4th runs so maybe I could do one of them!

 

Okay, five goals + moving to a new state sounds like enough ambitiousness before August 1st. Oh yeah, and I have other plans too like finishing my June classes, going rafting, celebrating finishing my undergrad degree, and soaking in Oxford life while I can. I love summer.

Heading (even more) south

As I believe I alluded to in a previous post, I will be moving to New Orleans this summer. I will be starting a Master’s program, and I couldn’t be more excited about my new academic opportunties and my new residence. I will be living in Uptown, and walking to class each day, but I feel sure I will also be experiencing other diverse parts of the city on a regular basis. I’ve visited New Orleans a number of times during my undergraduate experience since it’s not too far from Ole Miss, but living there is sure to open my eyes to a completely different city than ones I’ve lived in before. New Orleans, to me, resembles the Carribean more than continental United States, and its fascinating history make it completely unlike the rest of the South. In the spirit of my excitement, I wanted to list a few of the things that I’m looking forward to.

FOOD

I know this doesn’t come as a surprise since everyone talks about the unique cuisine of New Orleans, but I’m not quite as interested in the traditional, heavy Cajun food (except on occasion) as I am in farmer’s markets, local and quirky restaurants, cute cafes, and more ethnic cuisine choices. Though Oxford, MS has a pretty good array of those options for a town, the variety is much more diverse in New Orleans, and it seems on every block there is an interesting place I need to try. I’ve become very interested in eating locally and more healthfully in the last couple of years. I think living in New Orleans will increase my interest and commitment to these habits.

MUSIC

Again, it’s typical that I’m excited about the music, but seriously, it’s New Orleans. I have festivals, local musicians, and parades to anticipate. I hope I can take full advantage of some of the abundant opportunities to enjoy music in this city.

ART

To finish today’s list (though I’m sure there will be a continuation), New Orleans’ affinity for the visual arts is something I’m looking forward to exploring. Perusing artists’ galleries and special displays are activities I can see myself doing quite often on weekends.

As I said, I’ll add to this list as it expands. I have so much on my mind right now as I prepare to move. My last four years in Oxford have been wonderful, but I can’t wait to explore New Orleans for the next few years!

 

Wedding season

So, I’m going to a wedding this weekend just like half of the American population. It’s that time of year again folks.

I know weddings are about the bride and all, but I really wish I could have this necklace to wear to all these summer weddings. It is beautiful.  It’s from this etsy site: http://www.etsy.com/listing/72034842/the-shabby-chic-necklace-ii?ref=sr_gallery_39&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=wedding+jewelry&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade

And…it matches the dress I’m wearing. PERFECTLY. 🙂